It's a Family Affair (Ultrasound Update Week 29)

November 4th, 2010, our 29 week ultrasound. This has been the one I've been waiting for. The mass should have stopped growing by week 28, so I was anxious to hear what the number would be. Once again, we had to wait over an hour in the waiting room. I suggested to Gia that she bring some toys, or her Leapster, but she chose not to. There were about 3 other pregnant ladies in the waiting room. Normally, it's just us. I think Kara was the best behaved out of everyone who came with me that day. Gia wanted to play the Spongebob game on my iphone. Jim managed to find an Xylophone app that he just couldn't resist. I had to beg both of them to lower the volume too many times!

Finally, we were brought back to the room (with yet another "new" tech.) She started the ultrasound right away. She couldn't find the mass at all. This was the first time in a couple of weeks that I became emotional at the ultrasound. "What do you mean you can't find it?" was all I kept thinking. Was she not experienced enough? Does she not know what to look for? Apparently not, because she kept referring to older ultrasound pictures, trying to locate it on them. As the pregnancy progresses, there is a chance that the mass will start to take on the color of the rest of the lung...I was wondering if this is why it couldn't be seen. Finally, she called in another tech to help her out. She found the mass right away.

I felt like they were rushing us, but at the same time, I felt like it was taking forever. My heartburn was killer that day and I didn't have any Tums with me. I still had a bad cough from the cold I was just getting over. In the meantime, Karalyn started getting very whiny and cranky. As Jim was trying to entertain her, she pulled his nose and made it start bleeding right before the doctor came in. I was very ready to hurry out of there!

This time, they didn't even attempt to do the 3D ultrasound. And we only got one printed picture of the baby. Normally, we come home with at least seven. We didn't complain about having to wait so long, but we felt like they should have taken their time with us. We left feeling very unsettled after that appointment. The doctor (a different doctor than the one we usually have) came in to review the results. They always look at the pictures and then take a look at the mass on the actual screen. He told us the number of the mass. This number was smaller than what we were told 2 weeks ago. I couldn't understand it. He said there is, once again, no sign of hydrops.

We left feeling like we didn't learn any new information from that appointment. Now we will wait until week 31 to hear what our "usual" doctor has to say. We also have the follow up appointment at CHOP on November 23. I am anxious to hear what they have to say and find out what our next steps will be. Will our bi-weekly ultrasounds now stop? I guess we will just have to wait and see.

"When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always be worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad they have to get better." Malcolm Forbes

Seriously...Sunglasses? (Ultrasound Update Week 27)

We had our 27 week ultrasound on October 21. After waiting at least an hour, we finally heard my name called to go back to the room. Gia was the only one with me this time. She was so bored of waiting and couldn't wait to see the baby on the screen.

We had a different lady perform the ultrasound this time. She was friendly, but I don't like change. I would have much preferred the "usual" tech who we normally have. I get worried (me...worry?) that a different person might not take the measurements the same way. This lady did not say too much, which I was not happy about. I like to know what they know, when they know it.

She took all the measurements that she needed and then she showed us a 3D picture of the baby. They always try for the 3D picture, but it doesn't always show up clearly. This time it did. I was excited, and so was Gia, but I knew that Jim would be sad that he missed it. The tech printed out some pictures for us, and as usual, Gia came home with at least 3 "big sis" pictures as a keepsake just for her. The tech proceeded to draw something around my baby's eyes after she printed Gia's pictures. Seriously, lady, I am worried about knowing what's going on with my baby and you are (in my mind, at the time) fooling around and drawing sunglasses??? I can't forget to mention that Gia dropped her newly bought container of Juicy Fruit gum all over the floor. (This is not the normal sticks of Juicy Fruit, I guess it's something new. Gum that looks like chiclets, all over the floor, and I couldn't even help her pick them up!)

When the doctor came in, he informed us that once again the mass grew slightly, but it is not any major concern. Thankfully, there is no sign of hydrops. Now I can appreciate the picture with the sunglasses, and chuckle at how darn cute that little one is.

No More Crying Over Spilled Milk, or Ice Water, Or Chocolate Shakes

With all the stress that we have been under for 10 weeks now, I realized that I needed to put things into perspective.   I read a blog called Single Dad Laughing, the title was "You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations." It was about a dad who degraded his son in a store, in front of everyone. Pure embarrassment for the child.   It really made me think about how I am as a mother.  I love my girls with all my heart, I would do anything for them, and I honestly believe that they come first in every aspect of my life.  Sometimes, however, especially when I'm stressed,  I lose my patience too quickly.  This is something that I am consciously working on improving, especially after reading that post by Single Dad. 

Our children only get one childhood.  How do I want them to remember it?  With a stressed out mom who loses her patience too quickly?  Short tempered when things aren't going right?  Definitely not.  I realized that I needed to make a change.  There are so many "big things" in life that we need to focus on. So many big things that truly are a cause for worry.  Spilled milk is not one of them.  When I feel like I am losing my patience, I am going to think first and really take the other person's feelings into consideration.  And yes, that includes my 7 year old, and even my almost 10 month old.  So when "someone" spilled a glass of ice water on me last week, I didn't "freak out" at all.  And then when I accidentally spilled a chocolate milk shake on "her" (her dessert at the Olive Garden) the following week, she didn't "freak out" either.  I think she remembered how I reacted to it and that it wasn't a big deal.  It was a huge mess, but we laughed about it. (And it was everywhere--our jackets, my purse, the table and chairs, and then it even started dripping on the floor.) Mommy had really made a big mess!

And you know what, it felt good to laugh about it and realize that it was not the end of the world.   There are so many other big things to worry about. So many other things that we don't have control over.   Sometimes we just need to put it all into perspective...  stop being so critical of others,   remember that no one is perfect...and remember, there's no need to cry over spilled milk.

Here's the blog that inspires me every day to be the best mom I can. Very much worth the read!

http://www.danoah.com/2010/09/you-just-broke-your-child.html